he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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