I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
