I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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