Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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