There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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