Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I love having hate sex.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
