no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
