But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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