Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
