Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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