Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
you never un-have a 4some
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
