Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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