So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
