I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I booty called her while she was in labor.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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