I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We are two peas in an std pod
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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