Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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