we have officially lost it.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize