I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just want to make out with him forever
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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