careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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