I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
