She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
