Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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