you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
