So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You smell like stripper and shame
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize