omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
