So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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