I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
