Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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