OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
