Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
