Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
