he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
