if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
