Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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