i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
this just has baby written all over it
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i believe in u and ur pee
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