why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
