do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
