I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
