u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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