I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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