it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
