This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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