Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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