sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
