Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
