have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize