Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
