Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
