I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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