i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
