So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
