I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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