There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
ugly people sure do ruin things
you win again, gameday.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
