we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize