We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just forgot I was standing up.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
