dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
