it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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