i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
