I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
