i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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