I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
So much rum. So many feels.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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