During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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