didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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